Sour into sweet

Do you like lemons?  Well, many of us do like lemons, but usually they need to be sweetened up in some way for us to enjoy them.  Maybe lemon cookies, or some other kind of lemon treat.  Why?  Well, because lemons are very sour!  We can still enjoy them, but taken straight, they are not all that enjoyable, and certainly have no sweetness!

In our lives, though, we have many kinds of lemons.  Bad cars are called lemons.  Bad experiences are lemons.  Failures are lemons.  Why?  Because these things leave a bad taste in our mouth, a sour one.

But, there is a habit that we can employ to sweeten up those lemons in our lives… we can do what the old saying says…

Turn those lemons into lemonade!

Yep!  We can take those sour lemons, sweeten them up a bit, add some water, and we have lemonade!  Lemonade is delicious, don’t you think?  I like it a lot!  It has a certain tartness, but is sweet too!

lemons

When we make a mistake in life, if we learn a lesson from that mistake, we are basically turning that lemon into lemonade.  Yes, a certain tartness will remain from the original lemon, but because we can learn from our mistake, we won’t repeat it again, thus we now have lemonade.

Learning from the mistakes that we make is very important.  In fact, every mistake that we make presents us with opportunity.  What kind of opportunity?

  1. An opportunity to improve.  If we make a mistake in our personal lives, we can study what went wrong and basically make ourselves better people because of the experience and knowledge that we have gained.  So, the mistake turns into an opportunity for personal growth.
  2. Business opportunity.  In the past, there have been times when I have made business mistakes.  Sometimes they were almost deadly to my business.  However, by studying the problem that I have created, I have generally been able to turn the mistake into an opportunity to capitalize and gain more business.  You can do that too.  At the very least you can learn and be sure not to repeat the mistake.  At the best, you can find a way to actually profit from the mistake!

All in all, without a doubt, turning lemons into lemonade is a way for us to grow.  A way to turn a negative into a positive.  A way to make ourselves better.

Anytime that we give ourselves an opportunity to learn something new, an opportunity to grow in our personal lives, it is a good thing, and we should capitalize on the opportunity!

Are you feeling comfortable?

Are you feeling comfortable?  Relaxing?  Vegging out?  It’s a nice feeling, don’t you think?  Just having the luxury of being able to spend a few hours or a day or two doing nothing.  Letting your thoughts drift wherever they may go.  It’s liberating, a true breath of pure freedom.

It’s a bad habit.

Taking a little time to feel comfortable and relish in your accomplishments is a good thing.  But, if you do it too much, it is not a good habit.  Feeling comfortable means that you are not growing, you are not challenging yourself.  You are not expanding your horizons.

 

Are you feeling comfortable, or are you floating in dangerous waters?

Are you feeling comfortable, or are you floating in dangerous waters?

Ever heard the saying, “No pain, no gain?”  It doesn’t only apply to exercise, and the “pain” is not only physical pain.  Feeling uncomfortable can be painful, but going to places (emotionally, or physically) helps you expand your horizons, makes you expand the number of situations that you feel comfortable in, and is generally a good thing for your personal development.

comfy_chairHow about “thinking outside the box,” have you ever heard of that before?  Most of us have.  But, have you ever stopped to think about what it means?  Your “box” consists of the situations that you are comfortable with.  The things you know about.  Sitting inside your box and looking out allows you to see other areas that are new to you, new situations that are different from what you have experienced.  Now that you are looking over the edge of your box and seeing new worlds on the horizon it is your choice, do you jump out of your box and go explore?  It might, probably will be uncomfortable, because you can’t be certain what to expect.  But, if you don’t experience the discomfort of making that jump, you will never know for sure what awaits you.  If you stay inside your box, you will never know what was waiting for you on the horizon.  If you are a smart person, you will never be satisfied not knowing, you will always long for the knowledge that only can be gained by experiencing some discomfort.

Every time that you move into an area where you are even a little bit uncomfortable, you are growing.  The first time that we do anything it is a somewhat uncomfortable experience, because we are venturing into the unknown.  As we continue to do this new thing over and over again, we get comfortable with it, and we know what to expect in terms of outcome.  If we continue only doing the things that we have done before, there is no personal growth there.  So, if we are smart, we will venture out and do things that are new for us, and keep growing.

So, I probably overstated the fact at the beginning of this article.  Being comfortable is not necessarily a bad habit.  We should take the time to enjoy the rewards of our lives, no doubt.  Spending time relaxing and being comfortable for a while is a chance to reap what we have sown.  The habit that is a bad habit, though, is always being comfortable, and not moving beyond the sides of our box.  Staying in the box is a waste of our intelligence and initiative.  Staying comfortable is something you want to avoid at all costs.

Do you think that it’s possible that you will ever get to the point where you are comfortable with being uncomfortable?  Thank about that!

Disturbed by disturbances

The world is a very busy place these days.  It seems like as each year passes, there are new things that create more pressure in our lives.  Think back before cellular phones, before the Internet, before all the technology that we have today.  In earlier days if people wanted to get in touch with us they could send you a letter in the mail, call you on your telephone or talk to you when they saw you in person.  There were no other ways.

Today, it’s a little different.  They can basically call you on the telephone no matter where you are, because most of us carry cellular phones wherever we go.  They can send you an e-mail, tweet you via Twitter, IM you through one of the many Instant Messaging services.  Basically, the way that the world is today, anybody can contact you any time, virtually 24/7.  We don’t really have any “personal time” or “alone time” any longer, it seems.  It’s bad enough that through the Internet you can get contacted by all these methods, but many of us also have these things connected to our cellular phones, so if somebody tweets you, you get the message instantly no matter where you are!

Do Not Disturb

disturbSome of these things are OK to receive instantly.  Some are annoying, though.  If a very good friend got a new job and tweets you to tell you about it, that’s great, and I am sure you are very happy for your friend!  However, we also get contacted by a lot of people that we barely know.  Through cyberspace, we all have a lot of “passing friends” – people that we don’t really know in real life, yet we have met them in passing on the Internet.  When a person like that tweets you to let you know what he just ate for dinner… well, sometimes it is nothing but an annoying disturbance in our lives.

So, how do you hang out the virtual “Do Not Disturb” sign in your life?

Well, it’s important to remember that it is your life, and you can control it.  If there is somebody who disturbs you with non-relevant stuff on a regular basis, you can make a few choices:

  1. “Un-friend” them. Cut them off.  If they are connected to you on Twitter or Facebook and they are using that connection to disturb you inappropriately, you can remove them as a friend, and they won’t be able to contact you any longer.
  2. Tell them that they are disturbing you and ask them to stop. I have a friend who has been forwarding e-mails to me for years now.  Whenever he gets an e-mail that he thinks is funny, he basically forwards it to everybody he knows.  Another problem is that other people that he forwards to also end up forwarding it to me as well, so I will get a half dozen or more copies of the same e-mail.  I’m not really interested in the e-mail anyway!  So, I wrote to my friend and told him that I am happy to hear from him if he has a personal message for me, but I would appreciate it if he could stop sending me the forwarded jokes and such.  He responded to me only minutes later and said “no problem.”  Easy to fix, the problem is stopped, and in the future the communications that I get from my friend will be something I know is important to me.
  3. Filter your e-mail. If you try #2 above, and it doesn’t work, your next step is to set up an e-mail filter to take care of the problem.  You can set up an e-mail rule that whenever you get any e-mail from that person, just send it to the trash, or delete it entirely.  You can set up this filter in your own e-mail program, or if you are using a web based e-mail service like Yahoo or Google, you can set it up right on their website.  Alternatively, if you own the domain that you use for e-mail, you can set up such filtering right on your server, and the e-mail will never reach you at all.  Remember, this is a sort of “last ditch” method, because even if the person is sending you an important e-mail, it still will never reach you.

So, if you are getting tired of constantly being disturbed and want to change it, you can.  Take control of your life again, and set up things to take stress out of your life and start enjoying living again.  Believe me, when you take control of your life and eliminate some disturbances you will be happier!

Are you loving what you do?

It’s a simple question.  Very basic.  But, it’s also a question that terrifies a lot of us, if we stop to think about it.

I’ll just ask you straight out…

Are you loving what you do?

I mean, we all “do” something.  We have some kind of job, or something that keeps us busy.  Do you love what you do?  I’ll be honest… in general, I do love what I do.  Partly, because for the most part, I do what I want to do.  Every morning, when I wake up, I decide what I want to do that day.  I don’t have to get up at a certain time, take a shower and head to the office.  I don’t have to report to any certain person.  However, I have to answer to myself.  And, you know what? I am the toughest boss that I have ever had. I started working pretty regularly at age 12.  I am 47 today.  I’ve been working for myself since I was about 31 years old or so.  I don’t recall ever having a boss that was as tough on me as I am.

I like it that way, though.

Steve Jobs of Apple Computer

Steve Jobs of Apple Computer

You know who Steve Jobs is, right?  Jobs is the founder and CEO of Apple Computer.  He’s really a self-made man.   I don’t always see eye-to-eye with Jobs.  We have somewhat different life strategies in many ways.  I do respect him for what he has done, though.  Steve Jobs said something at an address to Graduating Students at Stanford University:

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” – Steve Jobs

I couldn’t agree more on that statement.  Brilliant.

How I started doing what I love

I started “doing what I love” in 1992.  It all happened quickly.  Up to that point, I had always had a job.  I thought you were supposed to have a job.  Most people think that.  Most people get up in the morning dreading their day of going to work.  They can’t wait for the weekend so that they can do what they want to do.  Well, why not do what you want to do every day?  That’s what I do.

You see, in 1992, I had taken a trip out of the country for a few weeks.  When I got back to the States, I went to work, and was immediately fired.  It is the only time I was ever fired from a job.  It is, though, the best thing anybody ever did for me!  I couldn’t thank my employer enough!  I didn’t look at it that way when it happened.  I was devastated.  I am still unsure exactly why I was fired, because I had done nothing wrong.  But, that’s beside the point.  Although it took me some time, after I had time to consider it, I realized that it was quite liberating to be “on my own,” so to speak.

During the ensuing 17 years, I did go back to a “regular job” for about 2 years.  Other than that, though, since getting fired I have always been self employed.  Today, I can’t really say any single thing that I “do” for a living.  I have lots of different things I do.  I have many businesses.  Some of my businesses go years between making money.  Some of my businesses make money every day.  When I get up in the morning, I tend to concentrate my efforts on whichever business I feel like messing with on that particular day.

What was it Steve Jobs said?  When he looked in that mirror and asked if he “wanted to do” what he was about to do that day, if he said “no” too often, he needed to make an adjustment, right?  Well, I don’t look into that mirror, and I doubt that Jobs literally did either, but I make a similar decision each day.

From time to time, each of us must do something that we would rather not do for a day or two.  Even me.  Yes, most days I do whatever I want to do.  Some days, though, I have to concentrate on something I would prefer to not do.  But, that’s life.  As long as those “do what you have to do” days are not what I have to do too often, well, I’m OK with that.  Because I know that in just a few days, I will get to do what I want to do again.

I didn’t come up with my personal motto immediately when I got fired from my job.  In fact it took me about 15 years before I realized what my motto was.  But, even though I did not realize it was my motto, my daily life has been lived by this motto for many, many years already:

Do what you are passionate about, and what you enjoy.  If you are passionate about it, the money will follow.  – Bob Martin

Language Learning

Learning is something that is good for us.  It is good for our brain to engage it regularly.  In modern life, a lot of activities that many of us engage in do not really stimulate our brain very much, so it is important that we actively seek out activities that really exercise our brain.

Think of your brain like a muscle.  When you go to the gym, or engage in exercise of some kind, your muscles become more toned, they develop, they get stronger.  If you are a smart person, your brain has the ability to develop and learn things.  However, you must exercise your brain in order for it to get the maximum benefit, and for it to be able to learn more.

About 2 years ago, I started learning a new language.  The language that I am learning is not a well known language, but it is the primary language where I live.  I am an American, and I live in the Southern Philippines.  I have lived here for nearly a decade already.  But, up until about 2 years ago, I did not make a serious effort to learn the language here.  Many people here can speak enough English to get by, so I did not motivate myself to learn the language widely spoken here, which is called Bisaya.

This is me with my language teacher, Bebe

This is me with my language teacher, Bebe

I have a teacher who comes and gives me lessons once per week at my house.  She is an excellent teacher.  I did make two earlier attempts at learning the language, but I was not motivated enough and did not go beyond the very elementary stages of learning the language.  Now, though, with the right attitude, a willingness to learn, and the proper teacher, I am nearly fluent in the language.  I can carry on a fairly in depth conversation in the Bisayan language, and feel fairly comfortable in doing so.

The point to this, though, is that learning a language has really changed my way of thinking.  It has opened my mind to new ideas, not only ideas about the language itself, but the way that I think about the culture here has also changed for the better.  I am more open to accepting things that would normally be outside my box.  Getting outside your box, while challenging, is also a stimulant in itself.  Allowing your brain to think differently, and notice things that you would normally dismiss with only minimal recognition is a great habit to get into.  It helps you not only discover new things about the world and about yourself, but it also re-invents who you are in many ways.

Over the past couple of years, I have mostly learned through studying.  Reading books about the rules of the language.  Studying lists of vocabulary words, and memorizing them.  Some words have been tough to learn, and I have had to resort to tricks to make my mind remember.  For example, the Bisaya word for “farm” is “uma.”  I had a hard time remembering that.  Then, I told myself that Uma Thurman, the actress, lives on a farm.  I have no idea if she really does, I kind of doubt she does.  But, it was just a trick that helped me remember that “Uma” was “Farm.”  So, playing these little tricks helped my brain pick up on these various things that I was trying to learn.

Now, after a year and a half or so of “book learning” I started feeling comfortable enough in the language that I decided to try to use the language as much as possible when I was out in public.  I even make special trips to stores and to the public market specifically for the purpose of spending a few hours talking to people in their language.

Actually using the language in regular, normal conversation gave my mind a new way to learn!  Not only was I studying from a book, but I was picking up on the way the real people spoke in real day to day life.  Real spoken language is not always the exact same thing as language in a book!  By taking on this new way of learning, I found that I was easily learning concepts that I could never properly remember when I was just reading a book!  There were several key breakthroughs that came to me this way.  I knew these things from the book, but always had trouble remembering them when needed.  But, after just a few uses in regular spoken language, these became very natural to me.

So, my experience in learning the language has given my mind a new exercise that it was not used to.  Just like if you added sit-ups to your morning exercise routine, you started using a new muscle, learning the language, and doing so by different methods has exercised different parts of my brain that were probably pretty dormant before.  It’s a good feeling to see development happening in my brain, and how that manifests itself in my daily life.

Exercise your brain!  Force it to go outside the box!  I think you’ll be happy that you did it.  I know I am!

Finding Blame

Recently, I wrote an article on another website of mine, the Live in the Philippines Web Magazine.  The site is all about expat living in the Philippines.  The article was entitled “A Bad Habit to get into.”  As a matter of fact, it was that article that got me thinking and made me decide to start this particular site.

Anyway, that article was about finding blame when things go wrong.  In particular, it was about blaming the fact that my wife and I live in the Philippines when things in our life are not just perfect.  You know the feeling… “If we had only not moved to the Philippines…”  That sort of thinking is not a good thing.  It is not productive.

Basically, in life, such blame can be placed in many different areas.  For instance, you could blame a person when things go wrong.  You could blame an event.  You could blame a thing.  Whatever, or whoever you blame, it is not productive to do so.

Following the path to personal responsibility

Following the path to personal responsibility

Blame is such a negative thought and feeling.  Taking personal responsibility is an empowering way of thinking.  When you take personal responsibility for what happens in your life, not only are you taking the blame yourself, but you are also taking the credit!  You are saying that you are in control.  Being in control is always empowering, and the right way to go, particularly for an intelligent person.

Avoid blame.  It has no productive place in your life.

Thinking you’re smarter

Do you think that you are smarter than others?  If so, do you sometimes feel the need to “outsmart” others?  Actually, it is not an uncommon line of thought for a smart person.

Did you know that statistically, a fairly large number of people with a high IQ find themselves imprisoned?  Why?  How?  In many cases, when a person has high intelligence, they sometimes think that they can outsmart others, and commit crime for profit!

Unfortunately, it’s true.  Very, very smart people often have a problem in thinking that their superior intelligence is the key to prosperity through crime.  Often times, these smart people actually do commit crimes that are very difficult for authorities to solve.  The problem comes about when the person gets into the habit of committing such crimes, and in the long run they get sloppy, and actually commit stupid mistakes.

So, even if you are smart, constantly thinking that you are a lot smarter than others can actually cause you problems, if you use your intelligence in the wrong way.

Can being smart put you in jail?

Can being smart put you in jail?