Critical of the critique

What to do?  What to do?

What am I talking about?  What am I contemplating?  Well, a lot of times, I have friends who ask me to critique work that they have done.  Primarily, people ask me to look over their website and critique it.  Basically, what does critique mean?  Well me it means to take a critical look at the work and offer tips or suggestions on how to improve parts of the work that are in need of more attention.  In other words, you must be critical of the work.

Critique Magazine

Critique Magazine

Eye of the Critique

Eye of the Critique

Problem is, even though who ask for a critique often don’t take the “critical” part very well.  In fact, when you come back and offer your analysis of the work, if you point out anything negative about the work, often you offend the person.  But, honestly, giving the critique should point out the weaknesses, because that is what you have to do to help your friend improve on what he has already done.  You are not trying to put down on the person who did the work, you are trying to help them make it better.

So, it makes me wonder, are they looking for a critique, or are they really trying to get you to look at their work and tell them how good it is?  Maybe they aren’t looking for suggestions on how to improve the work, rather they are looking for praise for a “job well done,” but were afraid to phrase it that way.

I know that I am nearly always wary of offering a critique, even when I have been asked to do so.  This is especially true if the person who is asking for my critique is a good friend, or family.  I mean, I would hate to loose a friendship or a family relationship over a critique that I was asked to give.  Then again, I don’t want to lie to the person when I honestly see areas that need improvement.  Honestly, when I give a critique, I want to help the person do better, just as I would expect them to do if I asked them to critique my work.

So, what do you think?  Do you critique work for friends, family and associates?  Do you give an honest evaluation, or do you sugar coat what you say and just point out the good stuff.  If you only point out the good stuff, is that really a critique?  Is it fair?  To me, I don’t think it is.  Either one.

Finding Blame

Recently, I wrote an article on another website of mine, the Live in the Philippines Web Magazine.  The site is all about expat living in the Philippines.  The article was entitled “A Bad Habit to get into.”  As a matter of fact, it was that article that got me thinking and made me decide to start this particular site.

Anyway, that article was about finding blame when things go wrong.  In particular, it was about blaming the fact that my wife and I live in the Philippines when things in our life are not just perfect.  You know the feeling… “If we had only not moved to the Philippines…”  That sort of thinking is not a good thing.  It is not productive.

Basically, in life, such blame can be placed in many different areas.  For instance, you could blame a person when things go wrong.  You could blame an event.  You could blame a thing.  Whatever, or whoever you blame, it is not productive to do so.

Following the path to personal responsibility

Following the path to personal responsibility

Blame is such a negative thought and feeling.  Taking personal responsibility is an empowering way of thinking.  When you take personal responsibility for what happens in your life, not only are you taking the blame yourself, but you are also taking the credit!  You are saying that you are in control.  Being in control is always empowering, and the right way to go, particularly for an intelligent person.

Avoid blame.  It has no productive place in your life.