I came from a family of five. I was the oldest of my parent’s children. I had a younger sister, two years younger than me, and a brother who is 5 years younger than I am. Back in 1979, at the age of just 15, my sister, Charlotte, was killed in an auto accident. She was hit by a drunk driver. By chance, I was driving home from my after-school job, and I happened to come upon the accident that killed my sister. The loss was devastating to me. For many years, I could not even talk about my sister’s death without breaking down into tears. It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life.
About five years ago, a close friend of mine got into a deep conversation with me about this event that had traumatized me many years ago. I really broke down during the conversation, and it took me several days to recover from the talk. But, when I did recover from that conversation, I found that I was in a different place in relation to the death of my sister. I had finally, after about 25 years, been able to face the experience and move on from it. Now, I can talk about my sister without breaking down, and I am able to think of my fond memories with her. It was really a ground breaking event when my friend helped me through the pain at long last.
Not long after this ground breaking conversation, I began taking language lessons to learn Cebuano, the language most widely spoken in the area where I live in the Philippines. Just the other day I wrote about my language learning and it’s effect on my life. My language teacher/coach is a nice lady named Bebe Metillo. I was introduced to Bebe by a mutual friend, a reader of another of my websites. Over the past 4 years or so, Bebe and I have become very close. I don’t even feel that Bebe is a friend, she is more like family to me. After all, we have had a close relationship for about 4 years already. In fact, when I describe Bebe to people, I always say that I feel that she is a sister to me. I also enjoy Bebe’s family, especially her children. I feel a real sense of kinship with Bebe and her entire family. Not only am I close to Bebe, but my wife, Feyma, is very close to her as well.
As I write this article, this morning I got a phone call from my Mom in the States. Although we live half a world apart, my Mom and I talk on the phone almost daily, via Skype. Mom called this morning because she had come upon a thought earlier in the day. My Mom recently took a class about grieving, and thus that is something that has been on her mind lately. When my Mom called earlier, she told me that she had come to the realization that she thinks that because I was able to deal with my sister’s death, that is why I have such a close relationship with Bebe. She feels that Bebe truly filled the void that my sister left in my life, and that Bebe really is a sister to me.

Bob and Bebe on Samal Island
You know, I had never thought of it that way. I knew that I felt good about having finally put my sister’s death behind me. I knew that I considered Bebe as a sister. But, I never realized that perhaps the two things were related. But, after hearing my Mother tell me that, and having more time to think it over, I really believe that Mom hit the nail on the head. Feeling of Bebe as a sister is more than just words to me, it is my true feeling in my heart, and I do now believe that Bebe has filled that void in my heart.
My time with Bebe over the years has been really fulfilling to me. Having learned a new language is not something I thought I could accomplish, but I did it, and I am so happy with that accomplishment. But, I always say that it was because of Bebe that I was able to accomplish that. Bebe is a great teacher, and did exactly the things I needed to accomplish the learning of a new language. For that, I am very grateful to Bebe, and always will be. Having Bebe as a sister, though, is worth even more to me.
I love Bebe, and now I think I understand why. Having close friends, and especially family is a great thing in life, and a great habit. I am a lucky man.




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